6Cs TO MARRIAGE CONFLICTS RESOLUTION:COMMITMENT

COMMITMENT: Intimate relationship is built upon mutual trust. One partner believing that the other partner will not betray him or her. If one takes cognizance of this fact, it is possible to build a healthy relationship, but every concerned party must work at it to make it a success.

 Somebody once said, "Marriage is like a voyage on the sea." If the ship develops any problem, it will be madness for anyone to think of jumping out of the ship into the sea, because he or he may never live to tell the story. it is safer to stay on board, because there may be no shipwreck at the end of the day. And he asks, "Why is it so easy for some people to 'jump out' of their marriage once there is little misunderstanding or problem?" Lack of commitment I suppose! A married couple must be determined that this marriage must work, whether the devil likes it or not. Efforts must be put into actually understanding your partner. There is an African adage that says, ‘Say what you mean and mean what you say.’ The secret to success is BE OPEN TO EACH OTHER. Do not have a hidden agenda when you are discussing, say it the right way. Be humble enough to say "I am sorry" whenever your spouse feels offended by your actions. A man or a woman who enters into a marriage relationship with a faulty vow made before the altar of God, "For better to stay, for worse to leave," such might be drumming his or her doom already. I believe in positive confession but I also believe in reality. Life is full of challenges! Take it or leave it! A faulty foundation will eventually lead to a cracked wall if not a complete demolition of the house, therefore, couples must enter into an unwritten oath of Commitment, saying, We shall be together until death separates us, God helping me.

6C's TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN MARRIAGE:COMMUNICATION

COMMUNICATION: Spouses should always communicate and learn to express their feelings.

Most times conflicts erupt in a marriage relationship basically due to communication problems. Positive form of communication would attract good and successful relationship, while negative communication can result into a disintegration of relationship. At times human beings draw their conclusions by whatever interpretations are attached to words that are spoken or actions that are displayed. Unfortunately some of the interpretations are sometimes wrong because they are based on  false premises.  Do not save “Emotional Trading Stamps” (i.e. cataloguing all his/her mistakes in your imagination). Learn to express yourself.

“Communication is often hard work.” When a couple is engaged in a discussion, the wife expects the husband (or vice versa) to listen to the points being raised and respond appropriately but often they get disappointed when the feedback that is received is not in consonance with the message that was sent. It must be noted that feedback is largely dependent on the listening ability of the receiver. Therefore, the key to effective communication is attentive listening.

HINTS:

Communication is HARD WORK. It is a process that involves Talking, Listening and Understanding; Communication is more than talking; Listening is very essential in building strong lines of communication in a marriage. And it takes effort. Whenever one partner is talking the other partner should exercise patience to listen to all that he/she wants to say. One knotty issue in communication is making yourself understood. More often than not, ‘one partner tries to second guess the other.’ It is an assumption most of the times to think that you know the end of what the other fellow is saying, unfortunately by the time he/she is interrupted a lot of facts get muddled up. “But when husband and wife start to listen to one another an amazing thing happens: they start to feel understood by each other.’’ (NormanWright 1974, 61). Do Make conscious effort to improve your communication skills.