6Cs OF MARRIAGE CONFLICTS RESOLUTION: CARE FOR THOSE WEAKNESSES

CARE FOR THOSE ‘WEAKNESSES’ – This has to do with accepting each other’s weak points in love. Not that you approve of them, but spouses should love enough to forgive and correct each other as friends.

6 C''s TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN MARRIAGE: COME LOW

COME LOW
Whenever there's misunderstanding between husband and wife, they must be ready to come low.  Both partners can not be claiming rights at such times.  Stoop Low. Be Humble as you relate with your spouse. I strongly believe that no couple really enjoy fighting with each other especially when they both have relationships with the creator God. In marriage conflicts, the goal should always be to resolve the issues amicably. Embrace humility and it shall be well with you.

6 C's TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN MARRIAGE : CALM DOWN

In marriage relationships, challenges abound! Some manage them well, others chicken out because of frustration. In dealing with conflicts in marriage, the couple must take cognizance of certain things. An old wise man once told me during an interview that whenever there is any misunderstanding between him and his wife, the way God has been helping them is simple, "while daddy is the goat, mummy becomes a sheep, and vice-versa!" What he was trying to say is that both of them do not lose their temper at the same time and blow off the roof of the house. Anger is a deadly weapon. One partner should not flare up in anger and utter terrible words that he or she will regret afterwards. Calm down. Flee from anger. Lie down on your bed and begin to talk to God, your father in heaven, to help you resolve the conflict at such a time. PEACE

THE GIRL CHILD: HANDLE HER WITH LOVE AND CARE (PART 5)

Your girl-child is now a big girl. She is very conscious of herself and would not want mummy and daddy to discern her ‘pranks.’ What she forgets is the fact that mummy was once at that stage in her life. She buys some ‘strange’ stuff and literally hides it from the gaze of mum and dad! Dear mother, let me ask you, “When last did you visit your daughter’s room?” Do you care  to investigate when she comes home with a new ball pen, a new wrist watch or a new shoe? If you ask, she may call a friend’s name to you, but do you care to follow it up? Why all the stress? Your heart questions? Well, it is for the good of both of you. 

Your daughter may have started collecting ‘gifts’ from “boy -friends” that intend to destroy her, but unknown to her and to you the parents. That’s why I suggested in my last blog the need to be a friend to your child. A mother was confronted with a question by her young adult girl, “Mum, why don’t you want me to have a boy-friend?” In this context it actually connotes some negative meaning? The loving mum asked with smiles, “My baby, tell me why do you want to have a  boy-friend at your age? Are you planning to marry soon?” She replied her mum that all her school mates are into that and their boy-friends are giving them gifts. The understanding mother did not frown at her, she spent time to enlighten her daughter about the danger of getting involved intimately with the opposite sex too early in life. The girl understood and she embraced her mum with a ‘thank you’ kiss.   

THE GIRL CHILD : HANDLE HER WITH LOVE AND CARE (PART 4)

Is it only girl-children between age two and four that are at risk as discussed in our last post? Definitely No! It is just an awareness to all parents and guardians that there’s much work on our hands to protect our girl-children. As the girls grow up, they approach puberty, and shapes and contours become more prominent. The next thing is that they become more attractive to the male species out there. Hun –un! It’s time to be more careful. While in a taxi one day, I overheard a mother telling her friend, “I tell my children, I am your mother, I am not your friend!” What’s your take on that? Do you buy her ‘philosophy’? The problem most parents are faced with is this, trying to force respect out of their children! These folks want to be friends with you, and be able to share their stories, confusion and pains, but daddy, you are not just there! Mummy, you are too strict to be available. Do you know what will happen? They look out for parent-figures who could listen to their woes and struggles, and before you know it, you have lost your teenage girl. Waoh! It is time to correct that ‘philosophy’ and be close to your teenage girl. She is ‘hungry’ for love and attention, create time to provide this or else, she will find it elsewhere! In the hands of boys and men who may end up destroying her future. God bless the Girl-Child!

THE GIRL CHILD: HANDLE HER WITH LOVE AND CARE:PART 3

       Children -Male and Female- are gifts from God, and they desire to be treasured highly. My focus on the girl-child is to discuss the uniqueness of this specie. Most parents do not pay enough attention to their female children. When a girl-child is just between two and four years old or thereabout, parents are less worried about them and their relationship with  the opposite sex, especially with their uncles and male cousins around the house. It will surprise you that as small as a girl-child is, she can become a victim of sexual abuse. When adults are not observant enough even when they are at home, the little girl can get into trouble with a male adult that is mischievous.Children are fond of sitting on the laps of adults for example, just to play and enjoy themselves, but if a girl-child is unfortunate to sit on the laps of an unreasonable uncle or any male, it can be dangerous for her. Why do I say this? The male in question can begin to finger your innocent girl! Sometimes, he can open his zipper and you know what that means, don't you? A counselor's advise to all parents- Please and please, protect your girl-children from "wolves in sheep's clothing."
        Parents should spend time with their children after the day's activities, and ask them about their school work and other happenings of the day without suggesting that you are suspicious of any danger. From such interactions with the kids, a lot can unfold which can help parents in proper guidance. When bathing the girl-child in the morning, does she experience unusual pain whenever you try to clean her private part? If Yes, then that is a clue that something is not right. It could be a case of a boil, but if otherwise, you will save her future by seeking necessary medical attention. God bless the girl-child!

THE GIRL CHILD: HANDLE HER WITH LOVE AND CARE (PART 2)

In some societies, the birth of a girl-child is welcomed with joy and celebration, while in some others it is handled with some reservations. It is worse if a woman has previously had two or three girls before the birth of another girl. There was the story of a man who went to the hospital to visit his wife who had just delivered a baby, and by the time he asked about the sex of the baby, the nurse congratulated him that he had a baby girl, a drama took place. Instead of proceeding to the maternity ward where his wife and the baby were, he muttered some derogatory words and simply turned back to return to his house. When the nurses on duty noticed the bad attitude of the man, they called him back and rebuked him that he is not grateful to God. “What if your wife had died during child delivery? You are an ingrate this man. Go inside and see how your wife and your baby are faring.”
             Many people forget that children are gifts from God. There are millions of people all over the world who are praying day and night, seeking all sorts of medical assistance to become pregnant and carry their own babies. Will such people mind female children? Definitely No. Historically, many girls have turned out to become bread winners within their nuclear families as well as extended families. The girl-child needs as much love as we give to the boy-child.