INTRODUCTION
All too often conflicts
erupt among friends, peers, relations and others in their interaction with one
another, basically due to communication problems. Communication is said to be
the bedrock of all forms of relationships, and a good understanding is the
hallmark of communication. Positive form of communication would attract good
and successful relationship, while negative form of communication might result
into a disintegration of relationship. Let me refresh our minds on few tips
about communication. An author defines communication as “the interchange of
ideas, facts and emotions by two or more persons by the use of words, letters
and symbols.” There are different kinds of communication- verbal and
non-verbal. At times human beings draw their conclusions by whatever
interpretations are attached to words that are spoken or actions that are
displayed. Unfortunately some of the interpretations are sometimes wrong
because they are based on false premises.
If a class teacher is
talking to a student for example and the boy begins to fidget, the teacher
might assume one or two things, either that the boy is rude or is in a hurry to
leave, but the actual fact may be that the young boy is pressed but he is
afraid to ask the teacher to excuse him in order to attend to the call of
nature. It is obvious that due to the wrong assumptions being upheld by the teacher,
he will pass a wrong judgment on the boy and may even punish him. But if he
cares enough to find out from the boy his reason for fidgeting, definitely he
would develop a healthier attitude towards the boy. What I am reiterating in
essence is the fact that communication is often hard work. When two or more
people are engaged in any discussion, each party expects the other party to
listen to the points raised and respond appropriately, but often we get
disappointed when the feedback that is received is not in consonance with the
message that was sent...
There was an interesting
story about two friends who happen to come from different tribes, and by
implication they speak different languages. Ojo visited his friend, Musa on one
sunny day. The latter was so excited and instead of welcoming his friend first,
he rushed into the bedroom to invite his father to come and meet with his
friend. Unfortunately the visit turned sour just because differences in their
languages were not taken into account. When Musa was rushing to call his father
he said, “Where is my father, my friend is here.” Interestingly the same
sentence Musa spoke in his language connotes a different meaning in Ojo’s
language. What Ojo heard therefore was, “Where is my cutlass, my enemy has
come.”
If you were Ojo, I guess
you would have waited for Musa, or what would you have done? In all honesty
nobody in his right mind would want to stay a second longer to watch the drama.
By the time Musa and his father came out, Ojo, his friend had disappeared into
thin air. When people are relating, cross-cultural considerations are very
helpful. Musa and Ojo are from different cultures and that affected their
relationship. This sounds like an extreme case though because if Ojo were to
wait to find out from Musa what he meant, it might be too late if Ojo’s
interpretation turned out to be correct...
TO BE CONTINUED ...
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