God is our
creator and He had a relationship with the first man, Adam, and later with Eve.
In Genesis 3: 9, “Then the LORD God
called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” To me, that’s a language
of love and friendship in many circles, but at God’s appearance, Adam was hiding
this time around. Why? He was hiding because of his sin of disobedience to God’s
command.
As people rightly
claim, Christianity is not a religion, but a personal relationship with God, through the
Lord Jesus Christ. Our father in heaven is the author of relationship and as
His children, we too long for relationships always. So we cannot blame anyone
for desiring to have a relationship with other people. Unfortunately, many of us
feel disappointed when the people we call our friends try to walk away from our lives for reasons best known to them. My question is, Why do you feel offended? I think you feel offended when you reflect on the things you have done to assist that fellow, or what that friendship has cost you over time, such as money, time, and
resources. Maybe some secrets shared in confidence et cetera. Who owns your time, money, and resources? It is God! So
release those pains from your heart.
I think we
should learn to accept people as they are. We need to realize that God brings
people into our lives at different seasons of life, for different reasons. Our
acknowledgement of that truth will free us from undue stress. What I am
sharing with you here has helped me greatly. By the grace of God upon my life, I
love relating with people. Even when I meet people for the very first time in
some instances, they just open their hearts as it were to me, and we will begin
to discuss deep issues of life. Personally, I am awed at the way God does it and
upon reflection, I have asked myself, “Why did this person pour out his or her
mind this way? I realize that it is not about me, it is about the great God
that I am representing here on earth.
Some of the
friends you meet will be available for some time and suddenly you notice
that one or two of them is seemingly tired of your usual concern. When you even
try to put a call across to her/him, she/he does not like picking your calls again, and
when you send short messages to her/his phone, it is either you receive no reply or
she/he manages to drop two or three words. Initially, you want to make an excuse
for her, “Oh, maybe she is very busy, or maybe she is stressed.” Beloved, why
not watch the handwriting on the wall? She/he needs her/his space, please allow her/him to
go. Remember, there was no misunderstanding between you, it’s just that she/he just switched off, please release her/him to enjoy her/his freedom. Maybe if she/he needs
you at another season of her/his life, she/he may reconnect, and in that case, gladly
receive her/him, provided you are still available.
I love the
the way a friend describes it in her book, *the three levels of relationships – the
Leaves relationship; the Stems relationship and the Roots relationship. Some
people breeze in and breeze out, (Leaves); Some move into your life just to
fulfill God-assigned tasks and they are gone forever (the Stems), while some
become part of your life in summer and in winter, in joy and in sorrow (the
Roots).
(*Grace
Olanike Ijaopo, 2019. A Flourishing Life:
60 keystones to living in abundance. Help-Line Foundation International,
Ibadan, Nigeria.)
Prayerfully
identify the kind of friends God is bringing your way. A clear understanding of
this write-up should free you from some of those pains and guilt feelings. You
don’t have to offend people before they move away from you, they may not be
designed to be there for life. Only Jesus can be with you forever. If any
offence is involved, then settle it and forgive each other. A misunderstanding
of the three levels of relationships can make you lose a true friend that God
is sending your way, I mean if a “Leave friend” has left you and you get so
bitter, and you then generalize that all friends are like that, when the “Root
friend” is brought your way, your mind may not be clear enough to welcome the
person. Friend, in all things, give thanks.
N.B. Please contact us at Joyful Callers Counselling Ministry for your
questions, comments and Counselling needs @ WhatsApp +(234) 813-814-3021 or send an email to joyfulcallers@gmail.com.
JESUS CHRIST HEALS!
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