CROSS CULTURAL PRINCIPLES TO MARITAL SUCCESS- PART III

ACCEPTING THE OTHER PERSON AS HE/SHE IS A woman got married to a man of her dream, and she was so excited that she got the best among the men in her community. She is highly romantic by nature and she was looking forward to enjoying a married relationship full of kisses and all the attendant excitement, alas, the husband could not meet her expectations. He is someone who wants to spend most of his time in the presence of God by observing regular fasts and prayers, coupled with prolonged days of prayer vigils, and he would always ask her to be part of the spiritual exercise. What a disappointment! “I didn’t bargain for this kind of ‘dull’ lifestyle,’ she said to herself. After sharing her dilemma with a Christian friend, she was made to realize that she can still enjoy her husband if only she will learn to accept him as he is, instead of trying to force him into a different mold. She therefore changed her mental attitude and began to appreciate her husband, though not necessarily approving of everything that was going on. Having learnt to accept him as he is, and vice, versa, their marriage relationship took a new and happier dimension. What are you ‘fighting’ to change in your husband or your wife? You can not approve of all his or her character traits, but you can lovingly accept your spouse and appreciate him or her for who he or she is. Remember you are relating with God’s creature.

CROSS-CULTURAL PRINCIPLESTO MARITAL SUCCESS-PART II

"SELF ACCEPTANCE": Who are you? Many people do not really understand who they are. It is therefore important to spend time to understand who you are – study your temperaments, gifts, talents, likes and dislikes, strong and weak points etc. After you must have studied who you are, and how imperfect you are as a person, you will become sober. Can you run away from yourself? Definitely NO! You will likely not approve of everything about yourself, yet you have to accept yourself as you are. For example, a man may not like the shape of his nose, or a woman may not approve of her looks, but the Bible says in Psalms 139:14a, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” Since you cannot run away from yourself, how then do you treat your partner?

CROSS-CULTURAL PRINCIPLES TO MARITAL BLISS- PART I

There shall be several parts to our discussion on this new topic. Some people may be considering in their minds, “How is this topic relevant to my situation since my wife and I are from the same tribe or same country? And for bachelors and spinsters, you might have taken a position that “I will choose a partner from my own tribe.” That’s o.k. But as the discussion progresses, everybody will agree with me that we all need a good understanding of these cross-cultural principles to help make our marriage relationships better and more romantic. What then is the first principle?