Part of the introduction to the book of
HOSEA in Good News Bible reads:
The
prophet Hosea preached in the Northern kingdom of Israel... during the troubled
times before the fall of Samaria in 721 B.C... Hosea boldly pictured the
faithfulness in terms of his own disastrous marriage to an unfaithful woman.
Just as his wife Gomer turned out to be unfaithful to him, so God’s people had
deserted the Lord ...Yet in the end God’s constant LOVE for His people will
prevail and He would win the nation back to Himself and restore the relationship.
This love is expressed in chapter 11:8, ‘How can I give up Israel? How can I
abandon you...My heart will not let me do it! My love for you is strong.
The word love has lost its meaning in
the modern world. Biblically, it is represented in two ways: ‘agape’ love and
‘Erotic’ love. It is necessary to define the topic in the light of what the
Bible expects of God’s children.
Love
is expected from both members of the Christian marriage. In fact, Christ’s last
commandment in John 13: 34, 35 declares: “A new commandment give I unto you
that you love one another as I have loved you. By this shall all men
know that you are my disciples. It is crystal clear that the Lord expects all
Christians to love one another ‘as Christ loved the Church.’ It is however true
that the greater responsibility is given to the man when it comes to the issue
of marriage. This is real love or ‘Agape ‘ love.
Erotic
love describes physical love or sexual relationship. It must be stressed that there
is no biblical ground or moral ground with which anybody can justify sex outside
marriage. God’s word calls it SIN and 1 Corinthians 6: 9, 10 names it as one of
the sins that will prevent anybody (caught in it) from going to heaven.
Obedience:
The idea of the obedience from the wife to the husband is described by Paul in
Ephesians 5:22 ‘Wife submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the
Lord.’ I propose that this will include both husband and wife. The idea of
obedience rather than just a direct obedience to one’s husband should be seen
as obedience unto the Lord. The idea of Women liberation is both foreign to the
Christian as well as the Scriptures. I don’t believe any Christian woman has
either been in bondage or social prison to warrant liberation. John 8:36: ‘If
the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.’ Every
Christian, husband or wife is abundantly FREE in the Lord.
OBEDIENCE in the Home: ‘Obedience is better than sacrifice’
declares the Scriptures. Most Christian wives will easily find that this is
true when the Lord governs the home. It will be a matter of obeying the husband
or submitting to him as the church is subject unto Christ. Let us take a simple
example within the Church. The idea of sexual sin or fornication or adultery has
become common sin in the community from the beginning of the age. Both are
attractive to the flesh and anybody outside Christ will find it unreasonable to
legislate against sex outside marriage. But a child of God sees it as a command
from God and through God’s grace he or she has to obey.
A
Christian wife is expected to obey her husband in all things but because of
love that exists between them she should be free to express disapproval on some
issues but be prepared to carry out the orders. In most cases the problem is
created simply because she does not see the issue in the same light as the
husband sees it. Psychologists have claimed that in some cases women act under
the influence of ‘intuition’ while the man has a mind that critically analyses
the issues. On few occasions such basic differences in reasoning lead to
disagreement. Just as a student may not agree with school rules and regulations
or a citizen with the laws that bind him, yet it is profitable for both the
student and the citizen to obey these rules. Such actions pay good dividends
when the rules are obeyed. It is always real joy for the Christian wife when
she sincerely obeys her husband.
The
issue of obedience by the wife brings about greater responsibility from the
husband. Outside the Christian faith, such obedience may lead to servitude, but
within Christ’s family, sincere obedience from the wife brings about greater
trust and this leads to deeper love. I believe, just as a father will always
show greater love and interest towards an obedient son, so also will a normal
husband show greater love and trust for the wife.
Obedience
in all things can be a problem but it is necessary to clarify one important
area of obedience within marriage. It is in relationship with sexual
relationships. Paul did not miss words in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. [It clearly
teaches that both husband and wife should not deny one another the joy of
sexual relationship except when they have both agreed to pray and fast.] The
reason given is that they should not expose themselves to the temptation of
immorality. It is given as the second reason why marriage was ordained in the
Anglican order of marriage service: “Secondly it was ordained for a remedy
against sin and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of
continency might marry and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ’s body.”
Paul ends up with the same reason. Disagreement on sexual desires from either
member of the marriage can lead to trouble. It is usual that because of some
physiological changes in the wife, there are periods in the month when her
desire for sex is almost nil. It is necessary for the wife to thoroughly
discuss this with her husband and both should agree on what to do on such
occasions. There may be other occasions when some other reasons may prevent
sexual relationships; for example a wife has an injury or boil that will make
sexual relationship impossible. It is important that she discusses such with
her husband early and should not wait to give the excuse when the husband makes
advances. Obedience from the wife in social issues like regular meals, at the
right time , in the right way or the way he wants the sitting room or bedroom
to look like as well as other ‘rules’ within the home should be pursued
vigorously with prayers and confidence in God. The obvious wages of obedience
is LOVE from the husband.
No comments:
Post a Comment