Monday 13 May 2019

BRIDGES TO RELATIONSHIPS: Facts or Assumptions.

Written by Dr, Esther Adenike Luogon

Do not be misled Betty, that was a devilish counsel. And may I reiterate this. Though the world’s standards are changing, God’s standards remain the same. “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”(Heb.13:4). Many innocent girls had been deceived just like you, and unfortunately some had made a shipwreck of their lives. The truth, Betty, is that once a lady makes herself cheap to commit fornication, she has sinned against God, and more often than not the man gets rid of her.

Try and imagine what happened to a juicy orange. Once the buyer sucks the juice, what remains? The chaff, Betty replied. Yes, and she throws away the chaff. Once you fall a victim to pre-marital sex, you are no longer precious to the man. The excitement to enter into a marriage relationship dies off. What else is he looking out for anyway? And even if one patches it up and gets married eventually, trust is betrayed already. Remember once the house is built on the foundation of distrust and doubt, one cannot enjoy that marriage.

They will live together in suspicion of each other’s activities. Whenever the husband sees the wife chatting with another man, it may be an old schoolmate, the husband becomes fidgety. At home the next question would be: Who is that man that was talking to you? I saw the two of you laughing heartily. So what is the relationship between you and the man? He is already putting up an angry look. Woman, you gave him room to be suspicious. Watch your life! Betty thanked her friend, Lucy, for her mature counsel and promised she would live to do the right thing. “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But he who heeds counsel is wise.” (Prov.12:15). Betty left Lucy’s place fully resolved to accept Dale’s proposal...


The families were informed about the relationship and everybody was in support. Thus preparations towards the wedding began. Dale and Betty were in the final semester at the University, and they both agreed that the wedding should hold a month after their graduation.

On the wedding day, Dale and Betty were full of smiles, chatting all the way. It was obvious to everybody that the couple were friends indeed. Lucy was not the chief bride’s maid as everybody had expected. Betty and Lucy took that decision because they realized that Lucy would be saddled with a host of responsibilities so as to make the wedding ceremony a huge success. If she had to occupy that ‘special’ position for that day, she would be distracted a great deal. One of the tasks she was to carry out on that glorious day was the giving of the toast of the bride and the bridegroom, as it is generally described around here. She was to tell the audience how the couple met, all that transpired during the relationship until the wedding proper.


At the wedding reception that blessed day, she gave the toast, and after sharing the details with the jubilating audience, she turned to her friend, “Betty, my love, it is now time to meet ‘the man’ in your man.” What a riddle! There was a look of surprise on everybody’s face, but Betty got the joke. Dale could not comprehend this joke, but his wife promised to explain it to him after the occasion. Four months after the wedding, there was no doubt that Dale was a man as it evidenced in the wife’s protruded stomach. Betty was expecting a baby.   

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