Tuesday 26 February 2019

BRIDGES TO RELATIONSHIPS: Facts or Assumptions Written by Dr. Esther Adenike Luogon


She is in deep love with you but she has told herself the truth that many ladies seem to be ignorant of, and that is, ‘it is not every guy that hangs around you that really needs your love. Some guys just do it for the fun of it.’ Dale looked at Lucy, ‘Tell me more, is this how you ladies think? Thank you Lucy. I can see that you are a true friend indeed. Please do not tell Betty that we had this sort of discussion. Do you promise? ‘I promise.’ She answered. I will get back to you Lucy. Bye. Dale zoomed off. Dale left Lucy’s presence with much confidence in his feelings towards Betty. I never knew that she was reading between lines. You see one needs to be careful these days with ladies. At times they can be very funny too. Even when someone is deeply in love with you in her heart, you just let out the cat, and you will be shocked at her reply, ‘I am not interested in any relationship right now.’ One wanders if it is a cliché that every girl must go for. I hope Betty will be different. He soliloquizes.  After a few days, Dale went to visit Betty and they began to discuss about all other subjects in the world except love matters. Betty was not feeling too happy at the protracted stay of Dale and yet, nothing substantial was coming out of the discussion. She looked at her wristwatch and her countenance changed.

Sorry Betty, it seems as if you have an appointment somewhere. Why do you say so? I have no appointment. Betty replied. But I saw you looking at your wristwatch. Oh! I am very sorry for my bad manners. Betty apologized. That’s alright. Now let us go on to the real business of the day. I am here on purpose Betty. She was surprised at Dale’s utterances, but she held her peace. Looking intently at Betty, Dale declares, ‘I love you so much, Betty. I cannot do anything without you. Will you marry me?’ As if she had not been longing to hear those words, Betty looked at Dale and asked quietly. Can you excuse me please? Before she could get off her seat, Dale asked again. Betty, are you ignoring me? Do you want to walk out on me and leave me in your room? I am very sorry if I have hurt you Betty. I promise that was not my intention. Sorry, I need to go now. Betty felt sad that she did not have the courage to say ‘yes’ to a question she has long been waiting to hear from Dale. Thanks Dale, I hope you are not too disappointed in me, let us keep up our friendship. Who knows what the future holds? Dale smiled. Sounds familiar! Betty was inquisitive, but he refused to offer any explanation. And they both walked out of her room.

Betty headed for Victoria’s room knowing very well that Lucy went there to study. She went with the hope of getting a shoulder to cry on. She burst into the room, rushed towards the beautifully laid bed and she began to cry. Lucy was taken aback at Betty’s dramatic action and she moved slowly towards the bedside, sat by her friend and encouraged her to speak out. After a while Betty lifted her head and looked at her friend. Her blood-shot eyes frightened Lucy who shouted, what is this Betty? Do you want to kill yourself? Talk to me. What is the problem? In response to her many questions Betty narrated the event that took place between herself and Dale. I guess as much. Lucy affirmed. Betty was baffled, looked straight into Lucy’s eyes and asked. How do you know? Know what? Lucy pretended as if she did not say anything implicating. Well Betty, it will be alright. Dale went back disturbed but he was determined not to give up too soon. “May be she is playing one of those pranks that ladies play with guys.” After few days, he decided to visit Lucy to find out if Betty had discussed with her. As Dale approached Lucy’s room, he was full of agitation and began to ask questions: What of if Betty is with her in the room? Will she not misunderstand my intentions? Are these girls truthful to themselves in their relationship? Several questions flooded his heart, but he summoned up courage and proceeded to the hostel. But why couldn’t he call Lucy on his cell phone to ascertain her where about? May be he was afraid that her friend, Betty, might be right there in the room with her. Let me just take the risk and get there, if I am unfortunate to meet Betty on seat, I will try and be smart to play my cards well. He concluded.

There was a knock on the door. Who is there? Before she could receive any response, she asked the visitor to come right inside ‘if you are beautiful looking.’ Dale opened the door gently as if he were a lady. To Lucy’s surprise, the beautiful face she was expecting in her room turned out to be a handsome looking friend of hers, Dale, the lover boy of Betty. She welcome him, offered him a glass of fruity juice and they began to discuss matters that were dear to Dale’s heart. In the course of their discussion Dale was inquisitive to find out from Lucy if Betty has confided in her about her feelings towards him.

Leave that area Dale, just do your part as a man. But what do you mean by that Lucy? Dale did not want to walk on assumptions. I mean, maintain your position and let her know that you are sincere with your marriage proposal. Does she think I am a playboy Lucy? Dale, please, please, be careful. What did I say just now that suggested that? Lucy gave Dale a look of assurance and encouraged him to press forward. Dale walked back to his hostel disturbed. “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.” (Prov.12:25)

Betty came into the room an hour later and she confided in Lucy during their discussion, “Lucy do you know that Dale has never asked me to go to bed with him? Not even once! I am afraid he may not be a serious lover, and again I hope he is a man.” Lucy raised her eyebrow and rebuked Betty sharply. Are you not a Christian lady Betty? Do you expect a pre-marital sexual relationship from a Christian brother? Please for God’s sake, you need to ask for forgiveness. But Lucy, don’t blame me. Bosun demanded for that before we broke up the relationship, and when I shared this with some of my friends they laughed me to scorn, and called me all sorts of names, ‘holy Mary’; ‘virgin girl’; Holy mother, just name it. And I was told that it was normal for any guy to ask for a sexual enjoyment these days, or else ...

TO BE CONTINUED...

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